We, all the living human inhabitants of the earth possess superior intelligence and human attributes. More or less everybody makes wrong usage of the Organ of sight. Sometimes we see something and perceive a different visual. This throws us into a state of disarray. Things get worse when comparison has been made. Identifying similarities and differences is a human attribute, and this is the source of our unhappiness.
“How is she, doc?”
I asked wiping some tear drops around my eyes. The reply was a diplomatic professional one. Some years back doctors were not considered as professionals, they were called as life saviors. Today the scenario is completely different. These white coat professionals are skilled in dealing with sensitive matters and people. They are immune to criticism. They not only charge for the impairment of health, a huge amount is charged for your fear for life. A sensation of acute pain rushed into my whole body. The brain started revolving quickly and repeatedly around it’s own axis. Being unable to control my movements, I sat aghast on a chair with help of the doc. When your wife’s life oscillates between two uncertain states endure and last and doc says such things then you will feel the same won’t you?
My wife was in intensive care. Though the hospital enjoys a good reputation in the market claiming they monitor patients very closely and they have most advanced life-saving equipments. But when your loved one is inside the glass chamber, then you can’t trust on any machine or any white-coat professional. Some vivid memories grew like a tree on the land of my memory.
My professional life starts from Chennai. Everything was new to me, the place, the food and the language. Providing accommodation was out of my organization’s policy. People who know Chennai, they can understand how difficult it is to get a house for rent, especially if you are a bachelor. The consequences had been making me frustrated; expenses were flowing by staying in Lodge and having food outside. Whoever came to my sight I asked for house-rent. It was a rainy day…rain in Chennai is a horrible experience always. I don’t understand what the Government has been doing. It was the worst drainage system I had ever seen. I was coming in auto… and suddenly it started to rain, by seeing my new umbrella I relaxed myself, in fact I was returning to lodge after buying an umbrella. As we came out from the auto, I found one mid-aged person having trouble with the uncertain unnoticed rain. Without asking him I spread the umbrella over his head. He looked at me, but said nothing, after some time when he said something I understood nothing. Sometimes I felt like an alien there, It doesn’t matter whether you are one from them whoever around you or not. It does matter whether they make you feel that you are one of them or not. It’s all about mindsets. A person who can’t speak your language does not make him different from you. Because the super set is the language of humanity and that is understandable by all. Thank god he knew Hindi and thanks to him as he guessed I know Hindi… ‘Kahan se ho?’ It was very pleasing for my ears as this was the first Hindi word my ears received after two months. Before then I was in my home town. Me and my umbrella escorted uncle to his house. He invited me for a cup of coffee that I was desperately wanted; I was almost wet sharing the space with uncle. We were in uncle’s drawing room. As the conversation grew I came to know he was a homeopathic doctor who gives small sugar balls to every patient. I was served some snacks that were not seemed like eatables, so I satisfied myself with sugarless coffee. Definitely I hadn’t any sugar problem, uncle might had or out of stock sugar problem. As uncle came to know my accommodation problem, he discussed something with his wife and forwarded a helping hand. He allowed me to take a room on his terrace. The warm gesture and the sweet news made the coffee sweet and more delicious.
The room was small but was decorated nicely. When I entered into it, I couldn’t stop admiring the work behind that. It was aesthetically pleasing. Uncle told it was his daughter who deserved the appreciation. I was well aware of the fact that in Chennai people never let bachelors pass near their house if they have an unmarried daughter. It was surprising for me how he let me stay with them. I didn’t dare to ask.
Next day when I came to my room, saw a girl standing at the door. She was fair and wearing a yellow silk saree with reddish effect. She looked like an ice cube environing fire flares, the damsel came near and asked
“So you are the occupant of my place” her voice was very pleasing to the ears. Though it was indicating a forthcoming problem, but I felt happy seeing her. She had something, don’t know what?
“I will leave soon don’t worry” I didn’t want to make her upset by any means.
“No need, I have heard your comments from dad, you can stay as long as you want”
I checked with uncle, he updated me that his daughter Archana used to stay with her maternal uncle and his sudden transfer brought her back home. He gave me some time to search another room. It was his humanity I must say. The same problem captured me again. As days passed by I mingled with the family so well that they forgot , I was the tenant. Archana and I got along very well. She used to help me always. When auto driver would charge me some unconventional fare, she would fight with them, when I would get confused with stuff names she would help me to buy them.
I completed one year with them and then my transfer letter was posted from the head office. From the very beginning I desperately wanted relocation, but by that time when I received, it didn’t excite me. The separation from Radhakrishnan family was not easy for me. When you want go away from something, you don’t get the opportunity and feel sad. When the opportunity comes you don’t want to go and feel sad. Because during the two situations the thing makes you it’s own.
“Hey what’s up?” Archana asked roaming aimlessly in the terrace.
I didn’t say anything. She figured out something was wrong
“Is everything ok?” she asked again
I handed over the letter and said nothing.
After reading the letter, though I felt she didn’t feel happy either but consoled me saying
“What’s wrong with you, you wanted this right?”
“yes but now I am in love” I said
“with Chennai no….I know Chennai is a place you can’t stop yourself falling in love”
“No” I said looking straight into her eyes.
“Then” She looked at me surprisingly
“with you” I said it finally.
“Aiyo………” the best ‘aiyo’ I had ever heard and the sweetest word I had ever felt.
We looked each other for a while. Eye balls didn’t move, eye lids didn’t fall. Though every body has the same eye structure but the one of your beloved looks the most beautiful.
“do you love me?” I asked her
Guessing something and confirming that , are two very different things. Sensible matters need to be confirmed. I could see her feelings in her eyes but wanted to hear from her. I admire God always, the way he designed us is just inexplicable. We think he gave us eyes to see the world. But the world can see us through our eyes.
“Ask father?” she said putting her eyes down
“what!!! ” I was about to pull her towards me, she ran away,
The rhythmic anklet tune could have beaten AR Rahman’s tune that’s for sure.
“Are you leaving?” Uncle asked
“yes and I want something to take with me” I said
“of course Son, what’s it? We will gift you that thing.”
Sometimes people make promise without knowing the worth.
“I want to take Chennai with me”
“what??” he laughed thinking I cracked a joke to make my farewell more lighter. Definitely I didn’t.
Archana was no where in the scene. She was busy preparing food for us. But her ears were with us. I could see that. It was my last supper at Radhakrishnan residence.
“ok son tell me how you want to take Chennai with you”
“I want your daughter’s hand.”
Everything got paused for a while. An awkward silence spread all over the room. We exchanged some glances with each other. Uncle broke the silence finally
“With pleasure son, I liked you from the first day , but….?”
Why the word but is created, it is the culprit in every matter.
I had to wait for uncle why he used but, at the end of such a pleasing line.
The same old drama, how a south Indian girl will be welcomed by north Indian community etc. Forget about Religious thing, it’s a fatherly concern they need to raise something. After all it was about the life of his only daughter. But uncle was sweet, he had some impact of sugar balls selling them daily. With little effort he convinced finally and I tied the knot with my beloved Archana.
We moved to my hometown Bhubaneswar. With Archana a new life started that was gay, brisk and debonair. We were counted as a happy couple everywhere. But I made a mistake after that. There was an old saying life gets settled after having job, wife and a home. I had two of them, so managed to buy a new flat investing all my savings. I felt very happy being settled down completely. Mr Khote was my neighbour and her wife more specifically Priyanka Khote was an angel. My wife Archana is very beautiful but it doesn’t mean that no body has more beauty than her. I would say it was very difficult to say who was at top beating other one. A healthy rivalry grew between them with no time. History is the witness how beauties fought with each other in the past. Mr Khote was a software engineer and capable of pulling a whooping amount at the end of each month. There was no comparison between his standard of living and mine. There was no comparison between a software engineer and mechanical engineer either. Software people are always accused of creating economical imbalance in social context, and it’s true. Archana was the sweetest gift given by life. My first priority had been always her happiness but… I already told you how much I hate the word ‘but’. Mrs Khote was of showy nature, she used to show off their rich life in front of my simple innocent wife. She ignored sometimes but there were some instances when I found her hurt. The balm for that wound was very costly. Archana never demanded but her unspoken words were hearable for a loving husband like me. It was not in my hand to control the consequences
“I want a solitaire necklace” it was her first demand but I had to console her saying different things but nothing soothed her pain. She wanted a costlier one than the one hanging in Priyanka’s neck. It was beyond my capacity to fulfill her childish demand. The time might had decided to go against me. She kept reiterating the same thing. I became frustrated with the unpleasing consequences and left all things over to the almighty, I couldn’t understand what to do? And she got a heart stroke. I can understand how acute her pain was but she should have understood what pain I felt seeing her like that.
My foot steps headed to Mr Khote’s flat. As I expected Priyanka opened the door.
“Mr. Khote is out of station” she said seeing me first time at their door.
“I want to have a word with you, can I get in?” I asked
“Oh.. please come” was her reply
She went inside asking me to wait for a while. I scanned the interior, each object boasting about itself. Lots of money had spent on each and every corner. Mrs Khote was enjoying Kashmiri Apples before my arrival, so near the bowl a long sharp knife was lying, I picked that one and thought to kill Mrs. Khote, a fire was burning inside me, because of this lady my green full life dried and had become a desert. I justified my thought that it would be best if I end the consequences there. Seeing her coming with two diet coke cans, I hid the knife behind my back. The chilled carbonated drink flavored with Kola nut extracts was not sufficient to extinguish the burning anger.
“So what brings you here?” she asked as if nothing had happened.
“It is below my dignity to possess such thought but I want to kill you ” I said
“If you entertain such thought then you must have a strong reason for that” she said flashing a smile.
It was just opposite what I expected
“Because of you my wife is in ICU, what else you expect in return” I was not cool at all
“I feel sorry about this but I am not solely responsible for everything, I never wanted whatever happened in your life” this sounded like a lame excuse to escape, It didn’t satisfy me
I was not that type of person who can take life of someone. I couldn’t understand what to say and how to say? I burst into tears and prepared to leave. She looked at me blankly, when I reached the door
“Read it…”she handed me a letter
I started reading the letter in one hand while whirling the steering with other hand.
“When your family came to neighborhood, I first saw your wife in the terrace, she looked really pretty and her eyes were filled with joy. When we started chatting she kept on going how happy you people were, she had her happiness to show but I hadn’t. The only thing I have is some costliest objects in my life nothing else. Though this is not the fact I showed that I am happy with my possessions. Same thing got repeated in our successive meetings. I never tried to underestimate your wife nor tried to show off anything. I don’t know how all this happened and what should I say to you. My husband doesn’t have time for me, he always acts like an ATM machine, I have the pin number of wife and the machine dispenses cash always. He tries to buy happiness in the form of expensive gifts but they have only lengthy price tags, it never gives any pleasure. I showed off to hide my pain but a wrong message communicated to your wife. I am not that much bad as you people think. You have a very beautiful wife and she has a very loving husband too and together you are a wonderful couple. I wish for the earliest recovery of your wife. You both forgive me for which you both went through. -Priyanka “
I turned the back. “You are a good hearted person and I would like to have my relations with you. If you ever feel like keeping a secret extra-marital affair then my doors are always open for you. May be the love that I deserve from my husband, I can get from you. ” just kidding the back of the letter was completely blank.
I appreciated my decision for dropping the idea to kill her. By that time I reached the hospital entrance.
After reading the letter Archana felt guilty for being childish but she hadn’t to Can we say whose fault was there? No it’s just a matter to have faith on your own happiness. She asked me sorry in a crying voice, and I took her in my arms. We lost in the embrace for eternity. Archana didn’t find another chance to see Priyanka. They had left permanently before our arrival. Priyanka may not be a great lady but she was not bad. But my wife is great and very good.
“Don’t let jealousy touch you seeing happiness in your neighborhood, you may have the real happiness and your neighbor might have an imitated one.”
Trust in your happiness,
if you feel happy, then believe you are happy.
