New Smile on Old Lips

You meet them somewhere or other, sooner or later, if you are destined to meet.

“Say something nice na…” Deepika said putting the coffee cup down.

“I just realized, you are very beautiful” I said

“Wizened face seems you beautiful, lier…”

“I don’t lie, do I ?”

“Yes always..” She giggled, the sound that is most lovable to me.

Her eyes looked old, but the way she used to look was same, lips were dry but the same smile was floating departing two fleshy folds. Though the skin was wrinkled, She was gleaming.With a glowing yellow aura surrounding her head, she was depicting the presence of a celestial being and mingling notes of ethereal melodies into the quiet atmosphere.

“So”
“So” we spoke overlapped.

Seeing each other we smiled with a renewed vigor. It bestowed on me a glimmer of strength, old bones recalled the days when fountain of youth was showering our lives.

“I never expected this form you”

“What I did?” she said in a very infantile voice.

She was a model of polite restraint. Her style had been very innocent and naïve. Whenever I would get a reason to complain her, she would speak with such innocence, that all my anger get reduced to zero. This behavior endeared her to me.

“You found it difficult to recognize me”

“I was little confused, clouds of three decades befogged the land of reminiscence.”

A breeze wafted through the door and passed caressing her hairs. They look more beautiful when they arrange their hairs. She raked her fingers through her hair and asked me the question for which I had no answer.

“Why didn’t you come to my nuptial ceremony?”

“I can’t remember what had happened”

“Can it be possible?”

“What?”

“That you don’t remember about that day?”

“How is Adi, does he still worship God?, crazy like.”

“Don’t call him crazy” her voice was soft, clear, and gaze was fixed on the road, that was seeable through coffee shop’s transparent glass.

“I know, I know…you like this craziness. In fact you fell in love seeing his devotion to God right ! ”

“Why to talk over my life only, time has come to address your life.”

“About me, good question”

“I was born with a paper, At the age when no one knows writing, I spent all my time watching that, when I learnt writing, I tried writing on it but couldn’t succeed, One day I asked God, he said ” It’s meant to read not to write, when your soul will be satisfied with any worldly thing then it will appear automatically on this paper, The day you get the paper filled, understand that you have found everything you deserved."
"Unfortunately, the paper is still blank”

“Where is that paper?” she asked making her face very serious

I tore a part of tissue paper and gave her

We both laughed out loud.

When she was a woman of jovial nature. The atmosphere had to be convivial. Her presence was conveying an aura of elegance and gentility.

“Life would have blossomed flowers of different colors with her jocund company” a thought gleamed in my mind.

“How about your espoused life?” she asked
“She answered the last call, leaving me with two off springs”
“You mean twins”
“Yes”

She could have said how bad she felt, knowing my wife’s death. But she didn’t do, because our relationship stands on very clear and honest thoughts. We never try to please one another, but at the end we are pleased. Colors of relation never fade out if people believe in doing things rather showing things.

“Didn’t you tie the knot with someone else?”
“Bringing stepmother for my own blood was difficult thought to deal with.”
“I must salute, for how you took care of both Children”
“It’s no big deal, life teaches when you need anything from it”
“How many children you have”
“One girl”

The waiter arrived with two cup coffees. The sweet odor of fresh brewed coffee, and her sweeter smile had everything to make my heart young.

“How Adi as a partner?”
“Not so good”
“Why? What he did?”
“One day he called from office, and told me he is not happy with anything. I consoled him saying positive things, he hung up abruptly.”
“I waited him, sitting alone with my small baby sleeping beside me, but he never came back. Later I heard from people, he was seen near Himalayas wearing saint like clothes among tonsured monks. ”

“I don’t understand what to say? This is really sensitive, better if we not discuss”“
I never discuss him with any body, I could have lied presenting a happy picture infront of you, but lying you doesn’t make any sense because I know your heart will not laugh on my stupid decision that has engraved lines of pain in my heart ”
I held her hands with mine and looked her eyes.
“what are you looking at?”

“I am surprised, your eyes are not wet. I remember the girl shedding tears on small small things”

Her eyes were glistening but this is how we should deal with.

“You have become strong” I added

“Pains are heavier than every other thing that makes up this cosmos. When pain dwells in your heart prolonging the agony, it increases the containing capacity, when goes away this leaves you with more capacity in heart, the good side of this is you get the ability to hold more pains in heart, and the bad side is you need more happiness to get your heart filled.”

“Philosophy !! great”
“Yes my taste of books has been changed ”
“Wow! What about your detective novels”
“Actually, you were right”
“In what way”

“You used to give lectures on philosophy, remember!!
We are not blind without knowing philosophy
Yes we have eyes and we know what to see
But we don’t know how to see, and how to enjoy seeing
Philosophy never teaches, it guides, To live a life of reason we seek knowledge of existence, values of mind and the understanding of the language of universe ” she said animating her hands as I used to do some years back.
“You were true, I agree with you” She added.

“I am seeing a mixed version of you”

“What do you mean, Mr?”

“Some of you have changed, and some haven’t”

Every day things change in this world, so we are. You are seeing thirty springs change on me, if you were with me, then you wouldn’t have felt this because we change with people everyday.
“It seems you have mastered in philosophy”“

Why you were not with me, when I needed you,” she looked at my eyes, and put her hands on my hands, eyes were complaining and asking me so many questions
My fist tightened in reflex, her soft hands hid in my hands, and our hands locked. A small drop of tear dropped from her eye.
She threw my hand to air

“Where were you breaking all the contacts, you just lost”
God is the savior,
A school bus passed by the road, small kids seen donning school uniforms, some were seen licking ice creams, some were punching one another and some waving their hands and showing tiny teeth to us.

A few wispy memories of childhood flashed into my consciousness.
“You remember our school days”“

Of course not, who remembers things from that time ”

“What ? you don’t remember” a bit of anger in my voice.“

Yeah baba…., I do remember”

“Those math classes”
“Those poetry classes”
“Those History classes”“

You remember all the subject names”
“No”
“and our teachers”

“Not all but yes, I remember your brother teaching us poetry, what live like explanation, what voice, when I recall those words, my blood gets stirred” I said
“what about your brother?”

“He has grown older than me”

“I still remember those days, emptying your tiffin boxes without your knowledge. ”
“It was fun, we had a great time”

“Yes of course, I always miss those days. ”
“Why life does not remain simple”
“Life is simple, if you understand it. It seems complicated where you don’t understand it.”
Because we never get a chance to talk with our own life, people around us talk to our life, and we always listen from it. We have one thing in our hand, whom to choose to talk with our life.

“What’s the best solution for this”
“When second self of you is chosen to talk with your life, then life behaves as it has to”

“How do you know so much about life”
“Because I have been living different lives”
“Sometimes I don’t understand you”
“May be because, I always understand you”
“You haven’t changed a bit, same philosophical sound”
“What are you? If you are changed” I said animatedly

“What about your novel, did you get that published?”
“No, IT world drank all my pen’s ink”“
What about your painting”
“IT world dried all my colors” She said

We both laughed. Two ancient hearts swayed in merriment.

“What we did in our life?”
“We spent our life by dreaming , sometimes for our family, sometimes for us but never tried to put a step forward”

“We always criticize our ancestors for living same monotonous life, but we do the same thing, and give a reason to our predecessors to laugh at us.”

“Actually the path of dream is very slippery, to run on the path we need some one who knows when to stand before us, when to hold our hands.”

“By the way it was you, who had lost”
“Yes, but I had to”“

Why!!! When didn’t I understand you?”
“No, Nothing because of you”
“Then…”
“It’s a strange consequence”
“For these years, I have been trying to find out, why you disappeared from my life from the day of my marriage”

“March 23, 1980”
I was in deep sleep, my cell phone rang continuously, when I picked up the call, your brother was at the other end. He asked me to meet him immediately. I thought he had some work regarding your marriage. Marriages are known for different arrangements.

“There is a thick friendship between you and my sister right?” your brother asked
“yes, everybody knows that” I replied
“but everybody doesn’t know you stealthily love her”
“how can you say that?”
“Because I have read your email”

It surprised me, how come Deepika’s brother got to read my e-mail which was sent specially to her.

“Have you hacked your sister’s e-mail account”“
I am a school teacher, do I know hacking?”
“Ok…Ok…. I have sent, but does it say I love her ”
“Not exactly, but the words are screamingly saying about your feelings”
“Now you are manipulating things”

“I am a poet, I know which word comes from which lane of heart”
“Meet my eyes and say you don’t love her” he added
“What if I do?”
“I want you to disappear from her life”
“That’s great! How can you decide some one else’s life”
“She is related to me, I am concerned about her happiness”
“Don’t I?”

“I don’t know and don’t want to know”
All that I know is you have feelings for her, if you stay in her life, One day your feelings will come crossing all boundaries, and it will ruin the happy life of my sister.

“I assure you no such things are going to happen”
“You can’t be trusted on this”
“Every one said the same and everyone did the other”
“What if I disobey you?” A protest in my voice
We both felt silent for a while, your brother’s eye got wet, tears rolled down, he folded his hands and requested me to go away.

It was very difficult to take any decision, my teacher was standing in front of me with folded hands, and the demand was my life’s happiness. The massive power of loss made my legs paralyzed, but I had to walk out.

I forced myself to believe “Relations are made to be broken,”

I sacrificed my happiness, and never showed my face to any one known to you.
In these years I read a lot to know as much I could about friendship and love.

A tear trickled from the corner of her eye, moistening the callused cheek beneath.
“I am shocked !” Deepika said
“But I didn’t understand, how your brother got to read my e-mails”
“ I was little busy for my impending wedding, so I had asked brother to scan my mails”

“Do you love me?” she asked
“Of course I do”

“Hmmm….. you never told me”
“Yes I love you, but don’t bring the definition from spicy movies or cheap novels.”
“Then you define”
“Loving somebody doesn’t mean owning,
It’s not an unique feeling, but it has unique style
Because everybody has this feeling but the style of expression differs”
“When opposite sexes meet, they search out a suitable nest and excavate a small nuptial chamber to start a new colony, this is how it goes and this is how it will go, no body thinks out of the colony.”

“Not very clear”

“Our body contains part of the divine sources, when these parts see similar kind of things in another body, a blissful feeling comes into picture. We come to understand each other, basically we feel for each other, that’s love. It doesn’t mean staying under one roof and bringing children to the earth. Love is not enjoying one another, it’s meant to enjoy together, every moment of life”

“I agree” she said smiling

“I know you will, after all our thoughts are alike, our dreams are alike, though we are not same, but we are similar”

“And these similar objects distanced so many years because of your silly decision” she teased me

“It was not mine,….”I said with trembling lips

“Why to discuss past,
bygones are bygones
let’s go” she interrupted me

We both came out from the café, I felt something in my hand, when I opened, it was the same tiny tissue paper, It had a line written

“Deepika Loves you”

When I moved my eyes, my heart beat just stopped, her eyes were fixed on me, and from the other side, a bus came in light speed and crushed her. I was speechless seeing her untouchable by the charabanc. The bus just passed through her body.

She looked at me and we both laughed and laughed and laughed.

A gust of wind blasted against the coffee shop, slamming the door shut with a loud noise. Moon was shining in all it’s harvest glory. Moonlight gave us a lurid luminance, and we disappeared.

“Some relations never speak their own holiness”
-Biswajit Sundara

Wisdom of Happiness

We, all the living human inhabitants of the earth possess superior intelligence and human attributes. More or less everybody makes wrong usage of the Organ of sight. Sometimes we see something and perceive a different visual. This throws us into a state of disarray. Things get worse when comparison has been made. Identifying similarities and differences is a human attribute, and this is the source of our unhappiness.

“How is she, doc?”
I asked wiping some tear drops around my eyes. The reply was a diplomatic professional one. Some years back doctors were not considered as professionals, they were called as life saviors. Today the scenario is completely different. These white coat professionals are skilled in dealing with sensitive matters and people. They are immune to criticism. They not only charge for the impairment of health, a huge amount is charged for your fear for life. A sensation of acute pain rushed into my whole body. The brain started revolving quickly and repeatedly around it’s own axis. Being unable to control my movements, I sat aghast on a chair with help of the doc. When your wife’s life oscillates between two uncertain states endure and last and doc says such things then you will feel the same won’t you?
My wife was in intensive care. Though the hospital enjoys a good reputation in the market claiming they monitor patients very closely and they have most advanced life-saving equipments. But when your loved one is inside the glass chamber, then you can’t trust on any machine or any white-coat professional. Some vivid memories grew like a tree on the land of my memory.

My professional life starts from Chennai. Everything was new to me, the place, the food and the language. Providing accommodation was out of my organization’s policy. People who know Chennai, they can understand how difficult it is to get a house for rent, especially if you are a bachelor. The consequences had been making me frustrated; expenses were flowing by staying in Lodge and having food outside. Whoever came to my sight I asked for house-rent. It was a rainy day…rain in Chennai is a horrible experience always. I don’t understand what the Government has been doing. It was the worst drainage system I had ever seen. I was coming in auto… and suddenly it started to rain, by seeing my new umbrella I relaxed myself, in fact I was returning to lodge after buying an umbrella. As we came out from the auto, I found one mid-aged person having trouble with the uncertain unnoticed rain. Without asking him I spread the umbrella over his head. He looked at me, but said nothing, after some time when he said something I understood nothing. Sometimes I felt like an alien there, It doesn’t matter whether you are one from them whoever around you or not. It does matter whether they make you feel that you are one of them or not. It’s all about mindsets. A person who can’t speak your language does not make him different from you. Because the super set is the language of humanity and that is understandable by all. Thank god he knew Hindi and thanks to him as he guessed I know Hindi… ‘Kahan se ho?’ It was very pleasing for my ears as this was the first Hindi word my ears received after two months. Before then I was in my home town. Me and my umbrella escorted uncle to his house. He invited me for a cup of coffee that I was desperately wanted; I was almost wet sharing the space with uncle. We were in uncle’s drawing room. As the conversation grew I came to know he was a homeopathic doctor who gives small sugar balls to every patient. I was served some snacks that were not seemed like eatables, so I satisfied myself with sugarless coffee. Definitely I hadn’t any sugar problem, uncle might had or out of stock sugar problem. As uncle came to know my accommodation problem, he discussed something with his wife and forwarded a helping hand. He allowed me to take a room on his terrace. The warm gesture and the sweet news made the coffee sweet and more delicious.


The room was small but was decorated nicely. When I entered into it, I couldn’t stop admiring the work behind that. It was aesthetically pleasing. Uncle told it was his daughter who deserved the appreciation. I was well aware of the fact that in Chennai people never let bachelors pass near their house if they have an unmarried daughter. It was surprising for me how he let me stay with them. I didn’t dare to ask.


Next day when I came to my room, saw a girl standing at the door. She was fair and wearing a yellow silk saree with reddish effect. She looked like an ice cube environing fire flares, the damsel came near and asked
“So you are the occupant of my place” her voice was very pleasing to the ears. Though it was indicating a forthcoming problem, but I felt happy seeing her. She had something, don’t know what?

“I will leave soon don’t worry” I didn’t want to make her upset by any means.

“No need, I have heard your comments from dad, you can stay as long as you want”

I checked with uncle, he updated me that his daughter Archana used to stay with her maternal uncle and his sudden transfer brought her back home. He gave me some time to search another room. It was his humanity I must say. The same problem captured me again. As days passed by I mingled with the family so well that they forgot , I was the tenant. Archana and I got along very well. She used to help me always. When auto driver would charge me some unconventional fare, she would fight with them, when I would get confused with stuff names she would help me to buy them.
I completed one year with them and then my transfer letter was posted from the head office. From the very beginning I desperately wanted relocation, but by that time when I received, it didn’t excite me. The separation from Radhakrishnan family was not easy for me. When you want go away from something, you don’t get the opportunity and feel sad. When the opportunity comes you don’t want to go and feel sad. Because during the two situations the thing makes you it’s own.

“Hey what’s up?” Archana asked roaming aimlessly in the terrace.
I didn’t say anything. She figured out something was wrong
“Is everything ok?” she asked again
I handed over the letter and said nothing.
After reading the letter, though I felt she didn’t feel happy either but consoled me saying
“What’s wrong with you, you wanted this right?”
“yes but now I am in love” I said
“with Chennai no….I know Chennai is a place you can’t stop yourself falling in love”
“No” I said looking straight into her eyes.
“Then” She looked at me surprisingly
“with you” I said it finally.
“Aiyo………” the best ‘aiyo’ I had ever heard and the sweetest word I had ever felt.
We looked each other for a while. Eye balls didn’t move, eye lids didn’t fall. Though every body has the same eye structure but the one of your beloved looks the most beautiful.
“do you love me?” I asked her
Guessing something and confirming that , are two very different things. Sensible matters need to be confirmed. I could see her feelings in her eyes but wanted to hear from her. I admire God always, the way he designed us is just inexplicable. We think he gave us eyes to see the world. But the world can see us through our eyes.
“Ask father?” she said putting her eyes down
“what!!! ” I was about to pull her towards me, she ran away,
The rhythmic anklet tune could have beaten AR Rahman’s tune that’s for sure.
“Are you leaving?” Uncle asked
“yes and I want something to take with me” I said
“of course Son, what’s it? We will gift you that thing.”
Sometimes people make promise without knowing the worth.
“I want to take Chennai with me”
“what??” he laughed thinking I cracked a joke to make my farewell more lighter. Definitely I didn’t.
Archana was no where in the scene. She was busy preparing food for us. But her ears were with us. I could see that. It was my last supper at Radhakrishnan residence.
“ok son tell me how you want to take Chennai with you”
“I want your daughter’s hand.”
Everything got paused for a while. An awkward silence spread all over the room. We exchanged some glances with each other. Uncle broke the silence finally
“With pleasure son, I liked you from the first day , but….?”
Why the word but is created, it is the culprit in every matter.
I had to wait for uncle why he used but, at the end of such a pleasing line.
The same old drama, how a south Indian girl will be welcomed by north Indian community etc. Forget about Religious thing, it’s a fatherly concern they need to raise something. After all it was about the life of his only daughter. But uncle was sweet, he had some impact of sugar balls selling them daily. With little effort he convinced finally and I tied the knot with my beloved Archana.

We moved to my hometown Bhubaneswar. With Archana a new life started that was gay, brisk and debonair. We were counted as a happy couple everywhere. But I made a mistake after that. There was an old saying life gets settled after having job, wife and a home. I had two of them, so managed to buy a new flat investing all my savings. I felt very happy being settled down completely. Mr Khote was my neighbour and her wife more specifically Priyanka Khote was an angel. My wife Archana is very beautiful but it doesn’t mean that no body has more beauty than her. I would say it was very difficult to say who was at top beating other one. A healthy rivalry grew between them with no time. History is the witness how beauties fought with each other in the past. Mr Khote was a software engineer and capable of pulling a whooping amount at the end of each month. There was no comparison between his standard of living and mine. There was no comparison between a software engineer and mechanical engineer either. Software people are always accused of creating economical imbalance in social context, and it’s true. Archana was the sweetest gift given by life. My first priority had been always her happiness but… I already told you how much I hate the word ‘but’. Mrs Khote was of showy nature, she used to show off their rich life in front of my simple innocent wife. She ignored sometimes but there were some instances when I found her hurt. The balm for that wound was very costly. Archana never demanded but her unspoken words were hearable for a loving husband like me. It was not in my hand to control the consequences
“I want a solitaire necklace” it was her first demand but I had to console her saying different things but nothing soothed her pain. She wanted a costlier one than the one hanging in Priyanka’s neck. It was beyond my capacity to fulfill her childish demand. The time might had decided to go against me. She kept reiterating the same thing. I became frustrated with the unpleasing consequences and left all things over to the almighty, I couldn’t understand what to do? And she got a heart stroke. I can understand how acute her pain was but she should have understood what pain I felt seeing her like that.


My foot steps headed to Mr Khote’s flat. As I expected Priyanka opened the door.

“Mr. Khote is out of station” she said seeing me first time at their door.
“I want to have a word with you, can I get in?” I asked
“Oh.. please come” was her reply

She went inside asking me to wait for a while. I scanned the interior, each object boasting about itself. Lots of money had spent on each and every corner. Mrs Khote was enjoying Kashmiri Apples before my arrival, so near the bowl a long sharp knife was lying, I picked that one and thought to kill Mrs. Khote, a fire was burning inside me, because of this lady my green full life dried and had become a desert. I justified my thought that it would be best if I end the consequences there. Seeing her coming with two diet coke cans, I hid the knife behind my back. The chilled carbonated drink flavored with Kola nut extracts was not sufficient to extinguish the burning anger.

“So what brings you here?” she asked as if nothing had happened.
“It is below my dignity to possess such thought but I want to kill you ” I said
“If you entertain such thought then you must have a strong reason for that” she said flashing a smile.
It was just opposite what I expected
“Because of you my wife is in ICU, what else you expect in return” I was not cool at all
“I feel sorry about this but I am not solely responsible for everything, I never wanted whatever happened in your life” this sounded like a lame excuse to escape, It didn’t satisfy me

I was not that type of person who can take life of someone. I couldn’t understand what to say and how to say? I burst into tears and prepared to leave. She looked at me blankly, when I reached the door
“Read it…”she handed me a letter

I started reading the letter in one hand while whirling the steering with other hand.

“When your family came to neighborhood, I first saw your wife in the terrace, she looked really pretty and her eyes were filled with joy. When we started chatting she kept on going how happy you people were, she had her happiness to show but I hadn’t. The only thing I have is some costliest objects in my life nothing else. Though this is not the fact I showed that I am happy with my possessions. Same thing got repeated in our successive meetings. I never tried to underestimate your wife nor tried to show off anything. I don’t know how all this happened and what should I say to you. My husband doesn’t have time for me, he always acts like an ATM machine, I have the pin number of wife and the machine dispenses cash always. He tries to buy happiness in the form of expensive gifts but they have only lengthy price tags, it never gives any pleasure. I showed off to hide my pain but a wrong message communicated to your wife. I am not that much bad as you people think. You have a very beautiful wife and she has a very loving husband too and together you are a wonderful couple. I wish for the earliest recovery of your wife. You both forgive me for which you both went through. -Priyanka “

I turned the back. “You are a good hearted person and I would like to have my relations with you. If you ever feel like keeping a secret extra-marital affair then my doors are always open for you. May be the love that I deserve from my husband, I can get from you. ” just kidding the back of the letter was completely blank.
I appreciated my decision for dropping the idea to kill her. By that time I reached the hospital entrance.

After reading the letter Archana felt guilty for being childish but she hadn’t to Can we say whose fault was there? No it’s just a matter to have faith on your own happiness. She asked me sorry in a crying voice, and I took her in my arms. We lost in the embrace for eternity. Archana didn’t find another chance to see Priyanka. They had left permanently before our arrival. Priyanka may not be a great lady but she was not bad. But my wife is great and very good.

“Don’t let jealousy touch you seeing happiness in your neighborhood, you may have the real happiness and your neighbor might have an imitated one.”
Trust in your happiness,
if you feel happy, then believe you are happy.

Soul Mate

My dawn starts hoping our meeting

Heart knows you but not knows where you can be found

Sun sees my conscientious search of you

And my strange request him not to disappear before our union

He says the spark of love is so bright, brighter than him

I have been living with the hope of meeting you

Though it interrupts my search when the world’s consciousness gets suspended

But I never let my search to die

My quest lives in the house of peace and tranquility

Expectations believe in utmost possibility

For years I have never been in dreamless slumber

With boundless imagination, I dream of you, I dream with you

Diurnal rhythms of love give me courage

I have heard of you from not known divine forces

It says our thoughts are alike, the dreams are alike

The source of my happiness is thoughts of yours "

I have faith on the divine forces of love.

The quest will end one day

Spaces will be reduced and you will come to visibility

I am thrilled with the thought of our union

The soul of mine is waiting for its mate

Omens are saying you have started your journey

I could see shadow of yours

Get transformed from the shadow, give a face to my imagination

Appear before me before I close my eyes

The law of universe wants us together

Wants us to be lost in the heavenly embrace to eternity

I Hope you are listening my soul mate

My Daughter's Diary

Society consists of individuals or group of humans that is delineated by the bounds of cultural identity, social solidarity and functional interdependence. Being a part of society we share cultural aspects such as language, dress, norms of behavior, and artistic forms. By birth we are interrelated to others who live with us and around us. As we live in a society, we need to know how to behave in social context showing various degrees of cooperation and communication with others. The lack of agreement and harmony always lead to splitting of a group. From ages society has been getting partitioned sometimes by means of religion, sometimes by economic status or region but always by means of biological class. We don’t think on this but the open clash of two biologically classified social groups “male” and “female” hinders the progress of our society. Wise people say society is for the people, of the people and by the people. It’s not an esoteric philosophical theory that can be understood by only enlightened people. It’s a simple phenomenon that can be understood and followed by everyone.

My daughter Rhea is of seventeen. Her attainment of the specified age increases my worry and concern. After the sad demise of my wife Kabya, Rhea is everything to me. She is my life and my company, and together we are family. We assist each other and give reasons to one another’s life for living. Life of a software engineer revolves around millions of codes and some more codes. The activities to make our white clients happy keep our life fully engaged and occupied. It forces us to delete the family time from our agenda. The scarcity of time in my life keeps me away from my daughter always. But whenever I got my control over time, I devote the whole time to my little angel. She is very sweet and a wonderful daughter. Her cherubic face with angelic smile and the dulcet tone makes me forget everything. It has been pleasing for me to watch her infantile behavior and playing funny games with her. She is like an odoriferous flower in my life’s garden. The flower is bloomed with time and her salad days increasing my concerns. Only fathers can understand what a fatherly concern is?

I was actively engaged in a company project for a time period of some length. The accomplished project yielded two days vacation for me. I was very happy with the thought of spending time with my daughter. When I woke up late because of late night party, Rhea was not there. I searched her every where and found a note hanging on her room’s wall saying

“Papa, I will be late, going for Priya’s b’day”

It was nothing new as she used to leave notes for me.
Whenever I come home, I see those tiny paper scraps, updating me about my daughter. I got little disappointed with her not being at home. While scanning her room with a rapid eye movement, my eye balls stopped at one place, it was my wife’s photo, a cheerful smiling face, and she looked very young. This is a really good thing about photos; people never get old housed in a photo frame, how nice!! They remain untouched from the wind of time. Time has changed the color of my hairs, but Kabya is the same beautiful girl. Some unknown, unspoken feelings misted my eyes, I put her photo frame down, and saw another thing that was kept near. A diary,….yes my daughter’s diary. I took that in my hand and headed to the drawing room.

Should I open the diary?
Shouldn’t I?

My mind oscillated between these two pivotal questions. Should a father read her daughter’s diary? It contains personal written records of daily events and thoughts. As a private document, diaries are supposedly not intended for anyone except the owner. The pages of a diary witness the secrets of a person. Should I be introduced to my daughter’s secrets? On the other hand diary speaks a lot about a person. And I wanted to listen about my daughter. So the father in me decided to open the diary with a promise to close it if any secrecy comes to sight.
There is nothing wrong meeting your daughter’s life. Isn’t it? I flipped the pages.
“I miss you mom” written with every possible design work that could be imposed on innocent alphabets. Rhea had been giving time to decorate the line everyday, it seemed. It’s easily perceived by the senses or grasped by the mind that a motherless child always misses a mother. No one can fill our life with such tenderness, warmth and affections like a mother. And if the mother is Kabya then there is no substitution of her thoughts even. I selected a page arbitrarily and started reading it.

“Should I tell to father? How?”

My daughter wanted to tell something? But what? I had to go back.
“I am seventeen now. For some I am Rhea, For some I am a showpiece”
The last word pierced into my heart and few hot blood drops rushed into my whole body. Once again I asked myself “Should I continue reading the diary?” The answer came yes, as my daughter wanted to say something through the written words. Reading continued
“The journey of a girl has never been easy in this world. From the age of Mahabharata where Pandavas made Drupadi a bet, to the age of Ramayana where Sita’s purity was questioned. Every time a girl was treated badly. Even today. “

“Are not we humans? We have the same human feelings, our blood is also red and we have six senses only then why these differences between boys and girls”
Her pain was inked so beautifully in the diary. I could hear the scream of consonants and vowels expressing the pain. Though it was not easy for a father to read more, I turned the next page.
“When a girl turns seventeen, things change dramatically for her. She becomes the main attention of people. Boys start putting interest on her. Advises flow like a river stream and uncountable helping hands appear every time. She is forced to experience the loud and penetrating tone of catcalling down the street. Why girls become hot topic in classes. My fellow classmates always have an eye on me, what I wear, what I see, they keep track of everything. Some even stare to see how I draw my lips. I feel like a bird who is confined in a cage. While walking on the street, some boys follow me, isn’t it scary? If I talk to a boy, the next day I become the protagonist of school grapevine. Is it okay for a strange man to ambush me? And what happens when I say nothing, trying to ignore the Neanderthal and walk away. Whenever a guy comes to me and demands a conversation, If I ignore him and take my way, then he starts throwing me whatever slangs he knows. Is it the way how we should be treated? Can’t they be normal with us? What is our fault? What wrong we do ?

I had no courage to turn the next page, I decided what to do? Next morning I resigned from my job and started writing books. I put my daughter in a girls school and escorted her most of the time. My books on Database Management System and on programming languages are very popular and earn me handsome money for living. Rhea is very happy with her life, with me. But the question is still there If every father starts hiding his daughter from boys then the day is not far when boys will not be able to say how a girl look like.

I (boy) am not the society
You (girl) are not the society
We (boy-girl) are the society

My Friend Bon

Life has many surprises, at point of times it throws something and something totally unexpected happens. The sudden unexpected event makes you astonished and you find yourself amazed and enthralled. There must be a difference between how you see life? And how does life see you?

I was in Lord’s cricket stadium, located in St John’s Wood, London and widely referred to as the home of cricket. The stadium was heaving with screaming of people, surrounded by a crowd of delirious cricket fans I felt like being tortured. Some were screaming, some were dancing and some were praying even with raised hands, believe me if you want to experience mad pleasure then pay a visit to cricket stadium once.

“What the hell am I doing here?” I asked myself in frustration.

I didn’t like the game of cricket, but I had come here by a special invitation, from my friend Bon, the craziest cricket fan who was sitting beside me. I had known Bon for past ten years, though he was my boss, he never showed any sign of patronization in his behaviors nor I had seen him talking boastfully, In fact he never acted to show his superiority to me and used to see a great friend in me, I had no idea why? But yes we understood each other very well. As I knew, he had no one in his life except me, that increases my importance isn’t it? Not really. He was a really good person. He had been accused of living frivolous life and often called as a narcissistic by many people, may be because he was different and used to live in a different world, his own world of cricket. Honestly speaking he possessed a very soft heart that was unknown to all; he was such a sweet person I had ever met in my life. I had an interesting entrance into Bon’s life. Though many years have passed in between, the day is still alive in my memory, when I reached his office for my interview. It was surprising to find him unavailable as I had an appointment. His secretary called him and passed the receiver.

Me: Hello…
Bon: Who the hell are you, disturbing me at this time?
Me: Sorry to disturb you…actually I have an appointment with you this time.
Bon: Is it so? Ok tell me you have only one second.
Me: I have come over here for the manager post.
Bon: Who will win India or Australia??
Me: What?? I didn’t get you??

He kept reiterating the same question. I couldn’t figure out what type of interview that was, first and foremost the boss was not punctual, he had no time sense and he was asking me to predict the result of a cricket match. Disgusting!!! It was unacceptable to my mind and I was out of patience.

Bon: Who will win?
Me: India

I don’t know why and how? But ‘India’ was the word my mouth released as the answer that time.

Bon: Ok come tomorrow if India wins otherwise don’t show your face to me.

Hearing this I got distressed, frustrated and sat aghast on the couch at reception. In a state of financial hardship, when you desperately need a job to meet your life needs and your boss asks some crap questions, surely you will not enjoy, right?
Next morrow I had to check the news, with a little hope I raised a copy of ‘The Guardian’. My heartbeat just stopped by seeing the headline ‘India’s unexpected win over Australia, with Sehwag’s unbeaten 143’. I started dancing like a kid; one cricket match decided the fate of my life. It sounds strange to be perceived by the ear but yes Bon welcomed me to the manager’s seat as I reached there, the person whom I had scolded last night for asking irrelevant questions, in a mo he appeared as God before me. Never ever evaluate a person before knowing him completely, it’s very easy to draw a conclusion for somebody in a blink, and we people love doing easier things isn’t it? Be cognizant of the fact that conversancy and acquaintance are necessary before entertaining a notion about someone. He looked at my face carefully.

Bon: You have a question in your mind? Let it come.
Me: No!!..., I don’t think so.

Actually I had an instance of question popping up in my mind, why did he select me? I was puzzled with his unaccustomed recruiting style, selecting the manager based on a prediction!

Bon: No, You have one, I can sense it.
Me: Actually yes.
Bon: Yeah ask me??
Me: Why did you select me? You don’t know me? You are unaware of my past academics, how come you offered me the manager’s post based on the result of a cricket match.

Bon: It’s your tongue; Business goes well with good predictions, we need to foresee things using observation, experience or scientific reason to run our business, your prediction worked that’s why you are here.

Again I got impressed by his reasonable answer. He had his own measuring tools for people; everybody has one, what a big deal? I was introduced to the sensibility of that person who sounded crazy last day. As days passed we got along well. Cricket stadium used to be Bon’s home, he was found rarely in the office. One evening we were in ‘THREE KINGS’ holding beer cups, after gulping two bottles he opened his heart that was in sealed state for a long time.

Bon: You know, I love cricket from my childhood.
Me: Then you should play rather watching it mutely.
Bon: I was told earlier in my life, not to stake our family’s reputation for a game.

Bon was fortunate to own large set of tangible and intangible possession as an heir of super rich family. He was the toast of the town, people wanted to be around him but he didn’t heed anyone except Cricket, when you are counted as a super rich guy then lots of people start putting interest on you and if you don’t listen to them then they don’t hesitate to make some barbarous comments on you. I used to hear new grapevine of Bon everyday, like he was planning to marry a cricketer; some even said he was a gay, and some said he was a black spot on his family’s name… the list was endless. That day I was exposed to the naked truth of life, some people are not happy because they don’t have anything and some people are unhappy because they have everything. The air of sorrow doesn’t discriminate rich and poor before touching anyone’s life, this is the fact. After some days I headed back to India, I used to hear from people Bon was not taking his life seriously, he was spending lots of money for his cricket mania. With every passing day his properties started going downward and all his possessions reduced to zero. Bon’s indigence came with no surprise; everybody knew it had to happen one day. Bon possessed descent self esteem being an heir of a reputed family, though he had nothing, It was beneath his dignity to ask somebody for help. Meeting daily needs was not a problem; the prime problem was to afford expensive cricket match tickets. He brought many ideas, but none of them worked. News papers produced his sad story as a comic tale. One news paper went one step ahead and advised him to play the cricket in a comic style. Bon took this seriously and approached England and wales Cricket Board (ECB) to let him play. Some board members couldn’t control their laugh in the board meeting, where as some argued strongly to give him a chance, as a rich businessman he had some sort of influence over majority board members and finally the board decided to give him a chance. There were no first class matches for Bon as the National England team seeking a good batsman, and he made his way straight to National team. The first match of his career was about to start, and I was invited there as he wanted to share his happiness with me. I got surprised when he came donning the national cricket team’s dress. England’s score was 58/3 and people had no confidence over Bon as the Cricket Board was already criticized for the inclusion of Bon by all news papers, they had produced this news with all spicy ingredients. Honestly speaking I had no confidence on Bon also, because the bowler he had to face was Brett lee, a boss hand at cricket and the team Australia was in a winning spree. The stadium fell silent when Bon took the crease, with a dominating smile lee started running from the other end and let the ball go with a speed of 180 kph. Bon pulled that one to a massive six, now lee’s face reddened with anger and he tried a yorker in the next delivery, again the ball reached out of the boundary beautifully. The frenzied attack of Bon left lee with no words. He showed no pity over Australian bowlers and mesmerized the audience with his flawless techniques and powerful strokes. The whole stadium had only one name ‘Bon’, I felt proud having him as my friend. It was completely Bon’s show. He slammed a mammoth 170 with just 98 deliveries and remained not out. Needless to say that decisively swung the match in England’s favor and Bon was adjudged as the man of the match. Bon became a hero overnight; honestly he deserved that stardom and fame. The debut match success was followed by many scintillating knocks; match after match he showed his talent and every match went in favor of England. His cricket carrier moved in a blistering space. It transpired that he had great talent of the game and people didn’t hesitate to tag him as a living legend. He awarded twice as ICC best player of the year and set some unthinkable, unreachable records like 4000 runs in one calendar year, fastest century and an unbelievable strike rate and average above 300. Bon was enjoying his life running on the pale strip, tormenting bowlers by sending balls to the boundary. No bowlers had answers for him; he appeared as most brilliant and explosive batsman of the world who could destruct any powerful attack in a blink. His opponents started admiring him without any hesitation. This is something people don’t experience generally. When you achieve something and your friends admire you, you start floating on cloud nine. They are your friends, it’s obvious for them to complement you, so don’t think you got everything hearing your admiration from your pals. It’s when your rivals or enemies start admiring you then think that you really achieved something notable.

Did the life of Bon become rosy for ever? No.

That chronic problem flared up when he reached ECB to renew his contract, he found that he was no longer playing cricket. The soil collapsed under his feet, the reason was his age. He was 38 years that time and by the ICC rule, players can’t play cricket after that specified age. England board didn’t want to loose the gem and approached ICC for reconsideration, but rules are rules, no body is above the law, whoever the person is, may be a legend or an ordinary player. The tragedy eclipsed Bon’s happiness, by that time he was completely lost in the world of cricket, it was hard for him to separate himself from the ground.

Did he blame god for the happening?

Whatever he said that night was housed in my mind forever. Bon admitted his fault and blamed himself for not realizing his talent before. Every body has a unique and distinct talent in his inside. It needs to come out, how? We have to realize what we have. We have to look into our inside. To be frank how many people think about them? We are arrant fools, we think about others always, we have a sharp eye on other’s doings, whenever they do something wrong we come to picture with a comment. Come on, don’t you have time for yourself? Think about yourself what you want? how you want ?and when you want? We don’t have sufficient time to think about ourselves, so if you employ yourself to think about you, you will be away from wasting your time thinking others. Bon did a great mistake by not realizing his talent, when he realized it was very late. So think about you before it’s late to know you. The question may sound philosophical but it’s no way far from practical.

THE GIRL NAMED RUHI

“All the characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author. While the locations Delhi, Philadelphia are actual, events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. “
“Love is not a fairy tale always “

- Biswajit Sundara

Sometimes life becomes a strange exaltation that was indefinable and sometimes it drives you to a miserable one. Nobody knows when and how life will speak to you.
My life had stuck around unknown faces on a strange soil. Every time the cold breeze passed by me it whispered I was not one of them. It seemed like everyday I was in search of my own existence that I had lost somewhere in the super shining, ultra luxurious vanity fair. A never ending enduring disposition. I had no one to blame. It was completely my decision. I had dreamt of this and I made it. Then why I did not feel the thrill of success? The truth is where the quest for success ends from that point the quest for happiness starts. In the process of achieving your goal you never know what you are loosing and what you are gaining. In the procession to my goal, I never realized that I was leaving my happiness behind me. She was away far far away. Whenever I imagine, her tearful eyes come to my vision.
Down the memory lane, I could still remember those beautiful days. We were naughty we were sweet , we used to be extremely close, we were best pals. Life was great those days meeting happiness at every point of time. In our farewell party, I delivered a speech about my dreams and goals that had set by me. When friends encouraged me with a huge round of applause, my eyes searched her cheerful face, for my surprise her seat was empty. I couldn’t spot her, she was no where around. I returned home with a happy-sad feeling. Happy because I was on my way to chase my dream , and sad because I didn’t find my friend to celebrate the joy. It’s not important whether you are happy or not, sometimes it becomes more important whether you have anyone with whom you can celebrate, you can dance few rhythmic steps in tunes of the triumphal success.
The door was slightly ajar and my body was lying on the bed facing the roof. I could sense the sky next to the roof. Since childhood I had been always ambitious, searching for something always. Kind of spirit to touch the sky. Not a bad quality to possess, I think. Many people seek it and I had it. I felt someone entering slowly into my room from the shadow that could be seen on the roof. It was Ruhi.
Lots of questions were in my mind, but my lips just forgot to move seeing her wet eyes. We were sharing such a relationship where one’s happiness lies on the other. We were that much close to understand one another’s emotions very well. I had to ask the reason of her tears.
Me: Were you crying?
Ruhi: No,…why would I cry?
She said wiping some tear drops around her eyes.
It’s a universal truth the first answer that girls deliver always a lie. Nobody knows the reason, why? Only girls can answer this. But Ruhi never lies to me, if she is doing today then there is something… my heart said from inside me.
Ruhi: when you are leaving?
An attempt to change the topic. Second well known feature of girls. Now definitely there is something…my heart said again.
Me: Next week, Why…?
Though It was clearly visible she was upset but I did not repeat the question. I kept myself going with the flow of conversation. If you ask then you will not get. If you don’t ask, they will tell you the whole thing.
Ruhi: Don’t you think, I should have informed?
Me: Oh, now I got it. Actually I wanted to give you a surprise.
Ruhi: Surprise or shock.
Me: Shock!!!! Aren’t you happy that I am going abroad for higher studies?
Ruhi: Can’t you stay here, why are you leaving?
I never imagined a single day without you.
Me: It is not going to be easy for me also but there’s a saying “You loose some, you get some” don’t worry we will be in touch always.
Ruhi: Ufff! You don’t understand what I am trying to say.
Things get complicated when two close friends don’t understand each other‘s saying speaking in the same language.
Me: What are you saying then?
Ruhi: Actually…actually….you know…I…I…
Repeating words is the sign of nervousness. Seeing Ruhi nervous was quite unusual for me. She had been my partner in all my pranks. Her innocent side was unknown to me. Though she looked sweet with her innocence but the very thought she was nervous in front of me , yielded so many questions in my mind.
Me: Ruhi, Can you tell me please what has happened?
Ruhi: “I love you” Suddenly she said averting her eyes and I got stumped
I was in shock for a moment; I couldn’t understand how to deal with that. What to say and what not. I never thought on this. I know people move around love and affairs at my age but love was not in my schedule. I had no time for love and no space for any commitment. We both fell silent; I can say an awkward silence got spread all over the room.
Me: Ruhi, are you serious?
Ruhi: Yes and I don’t want you to go away from me.
This is the human nature, whom you love, you become demanding to him. There is nothing wrong.
Me: Ruhi, I respect your feelings. In fact you are the sweetest part of my life but I never thought on this.
Ruhi: Then think now? She said in a muffled voice
Me: I can’t Ruhi, in my life I have to do lots of things. I don’t have space for any commitment. I guess this is just an attraction. We stay together always, so it made you feel that you love me. Nothing is like this, after some days you will find this one funny.
I tried to appear more mature than her.
Ruhi’s face reddened with embarrassment. She rolled her eyes slowly but said nothing.
Me: Things will be changed over time, nothing to worry about it, and by the way you are coming to airport or not?
Ruhi looked straight into my eyes. I never able to interpret that look, I knew those innocent eyes spoke million words silently but may be I was not literate enough to read her emotions. When love is not reciprocated, it appears as a defeat. When one expresses love feelings to another in friendship, the relation experiences a drastic change. Reciprocation of love leads to a stronger bond, other one heads to the death of the relation and welcomes you to the funeral of friendship. Why this happens? We always say everything should be expressed in friendship then why all this? Can’t a friend express what he/she feels for the other one? This is because it causes emotional anguish when rejected by someone you love and if the person is your friend who knows everything about you…doesn’t accept your feelings, then it drives your mind to the question do you really have anything good in you to be loved or not. The pain is unbearable, it kills, makes you feel you are a worthless piece among all the precious items of this world. Instead of remaining an object of pity in the eyes of the other one, people quit from the relation. That’s better but not always. Ruhi left giving a fleeting glance without saying any second thing to me, and I was standstill.
In the following days, she never called me, nor answered hundreds of my calls. It was not easy for me to stay away from her, I went to her place and inquired about her sudden disappearance, her mother communicated the only message that she had left to her uncle’s place in that vacation. I was surprised finding that she hadn’t left any message for me. I knew she was hurt but was it my fault? I didn’t have much time to think over all these emotional stuffs. I waited for her at the airport expecting her to appear anytime. She didn’t come nor send any message. She just disappeared from my life. A little pain resided in my heart that I lost a great friend of my life. But the name of life is to move on and I had no time to look back.
Philadelphia, a city of dreams where I had to write my own success story. I was not landed alone, with me my dreams and ambitions also landed there. I worked hard from college to university and finally all my efforts earned me a high earning job, an opulent life displaying luxury and furnishing gratification to the senses. I started living a life that many people dream of. I believed I was happy but I never realized how I had been befriended with loneliness. I couldn’t fathom out what was wrong but something was not right somewhere. As the day passed I started realizing the emptiness in my life. I didn’t find anyone to fill the void created by Ruhi, my eyes might have refused to capture the sight of anyone else. White chicks never touched the spheres of my interest nor short skirts and revealing outfits succeed to get my eye balls. I was unknowingly searching Ruhi there, strange is the language of life isn’t it?. From my experience I would say you don’t care anything, when you are in the journey to reach your goal. It’s the time when you reach the destination and find no one with you, then you feel the pain, you look back but the path covered by you is so long that you never find anyone. Can’t we walk with someone? Do we have to reach our destination alone? What importance does that success carry, which is not capable to yield some happiness? I had faced lots of questions in my life, I dealt them courageously but I had no answer for these questions. The stars of sorrows and pain introduce themselves when life sleeps under the sky of loneliness. Life becomes beautiful with a lovely companion, everybody needs a companion, and this is the prime reason why marriage is a custom in our society. Behind the biological needs, there is need for a life time companion. Those beautiful moments spent with Ruhi played in my mind itself. I repented for that decision. People exist in this world who don’t respect love, they deny the necessity of romance. In everyone’s life a point comes when they understand without romance life is like a dry leaf lacking the juice, dull and lifeless. Ambitions, dreams do have priority but we can’t deny the necessity of love in our lives. I searched many social networking sites, but couldn’t able to trace out Ruhi. I lost myself among millions of Ruhi profiles. Who to select, was a difficult task for me. It had been 10 years after all , taking the name of God, I selected some profiles randomly, asking them for confirmation. Suddenly my mobile beeped.
Me: Hello
Boss: Bonjour…can you come to office for a while.
My French boss, short, prehensile and avaricious . She had all qualities to be in her seat.
Me: Bonjour….boss I will be there in 10mins.
When you get a job, you start living two lives one is personal and other one is professional. You can die in your personal life but you can’t die in your professional life, they will dig and pull you out from some feet under the surface.
My boss assigned me a job to meet a client. I had set my mind in an other way. Before getting influenced by any other thought I put my resignation on her table. She just became speechless.
Boss: If you don’t want to work on Sundays, It’s ok. You can go home but what this resignation is all about?
Me: No, I don’t want to be here, I am leaving.
Boss: Very soon you are getting promoted as branch head; Opportunities like this don’t come always.
Me: It’s ok, but I have decided.
Boss: You are a worthy asset of my company, Tell me what do you want,
Je ne peux pas vous laisser comme ça ( I can’t leave you like this.)
I had something in me, for which I climbed the ladder of success in a short span of time, that takes long years for others to achieve.
Me: No maam, I don’t have any wish now, I am leaving for India.
Boss: In that case, you can take holiday for some days. Away from work devote your time to rest and pleasure, then you can start your work afresh.
Me: No I will never come back.
Boss: if you have made up your mind then what can I do?
Me: Thanks a lot boss.
Boss: vous allez nous manquer(We will miss you)
Have a great life ahead.
While coming out from the office premises, I felt like releasing from a cage. I felt free, I felt a freshness, a newness in my life. A new energy spread all over and revitalized me instantly. As I got into my flat, I saw a message popping on my laptop screen. For a second my whole body froze, It happens when someone crosses the threshold of happiness. My heart was beamed with joy. It was Ruhi’s message.
I saw her mobile number in the scrap. Without waiting for anything my fingers touched the digits of mobile keypad.
Ruhi: Hello
I couldn’t able to utter a word
Ruhi: Hello!! Hello!! Helloooo!!!
I felt I got everything hearing her sweet voice.
In a lonely deserted life, love flows like a river, promising you to bring the green, as the river Nile had favored Egypt.
What to say? How to say? My tongue just became unmovable. I was the stupid one who came away leaving her. I didn’t know whether she had any place for me in her life.
Ruhi: Is it Biswajit?
Girls have sixth sense, it was proved.
Me: Yes
Ruhi: Oh God! Can’t you speak?
By the way how are you? You remembered me after such a long time.
She went on with a lot of questions….She hadn’t changed a bit.
I wanted to tell her “Shhhhh! Shhhhh!! Ruhi , Ruhi Listen to me… I love you “ like how Indian star Sahrukh Khan does in romantic flicks. Girls don’t like cheesy lines, I knew that
Me: I am in Philadelphia , now
Ruhi: Why are you taking so much time to answer, Are you ok?
After this question we both fell silent letting the breaths speak to each other. She could hear only my breaths of varying frequencies and I could hear hers. Again she repeated.
Ruhi: Are you ok?
She said in a caring and in such lovingness that touched my heart so deeply. That time I just hated myself for hurting Ruhi in the past because of my ambition. Her two words soothed the pain, brought me the pleasure for which I had been roaming here and there like a vagabond.
Ruhi: You called me after a long time but you are not saying anything. What happened to you?
I didn’t know what happened to me, tears started rolling down from my eyes, my throat choked in an attempt to release more words that I was capable of.
Me: Ruhi, I am coming to India, coming to you, then we will talk, I am unable to say anything right now.
Ruhi: Seriously!!! When will you come?
She sounded very happy like a person who got his lost treasure after a long search.
Me: Tomorrow
Ruhi: Ok ..I will be there to receive you.
Me: Thank you
Ruhi: My pleasure
Me: Ok. Bye for now
Ruhi: Bye…take care
The journey towards something is very easy but the return path is not that much easy. Because every distance is associated with time. You had spent time to reach there. Now you seek time to return back. Though I was pleased after talking Ruhi. The strokes of happiness raising new new dreams, I had a little fear, what if I go to India and see Ruhi holding someone else’s hand. It’s a known fact, Love is a message that comes from a heart and needs another heart to receive it. If you are not the recipient then surely someone else will be. Whatever I wanted to see Ruhi, I vowed to bring her back in my life. I saw a girl’s picture hanging on my bedroom’s wall and imagined her as Ruhi, Suddenly she came out of the picture with a endearing smile, I stared at her with amazement, she giggled, her giggle became a big hearty laugh, one that was loud and musical at the same time. That laugh was one of my favorite things about her ,as I went to touch her hand…. She disappeared like a shot. The night passed sleepless recollecting the fragments of old memories and envisaging her. I was on the flight next morning.
The fastest moving transport seemed like a cart to me. When you have urgency to meet your love, your heart wants to cross million miles within a second. My flight landed at Delhi Airport. It’s always good to be around known faces. The smell of my soil, the familiar figures, familiar noise, and familiar objects every where . The feeling was unexplainable. My feet ran towards the gate. My heart was galloping like a horse. I was dying to see her pretty face. As I reached, my eye balls moved randomly to spot her, I saw a girl standing with my name plate. It was a brumous December evening. She wore a blue salwar kameez with some spectacular design works, dangling ear rings, she looked divine. I waved my hand to her, she grinned seeing me and raised her hand in response. Our eyes met and locked. Somebody came, put a machine on my mouth and left. We were lost looking each other. My feet started to move slowly towards her, from the other side she came forward to reduce the distance. I was very close to her, Some guards came and pulled holding my shoulders from back. I was in trance, I was not in a state to understand what was happening, It was when Ruhi disappeared from my sight, I realized and asked about this. They informed me I was affected by swine flu, so they hadn’t allowed me into India. I knew what swine flu was? In that case I didn’t want to put Ruhi’s life at risk. She pleaded to officials, but no body allowed her. I could see her blurred image from the window glass. Immediately I was sent to hospital by a special van. After one or two days, I am going to close my eyes for forever. I might have taken infected swine meat without my knowledge, and the result is in front of you. The F-land and F-culture has everything to allure you, but one day you will realize all that glitters is not gold. It’s very easy to disjoin yourself from the roots of your culture but it’s not that much easy to get yourself joined back. Points to ponder here is if you betray your own land, then you must not be forgiven. Whatever the reason of my punishment, the fact is that I am going to die a worst death happened ever. I wanted to take Ruhi in my arms, I wanted to cup her face and say I love you Ruhi…More than you ever imagine, I value your company to the highest point. But Life doesn’t give you a second chance, it’s a very common philosophy. What if we could go back to past and undo our doings.. Life doesn’t have back control, it goes only in forward motion. To my rue, the faulty decision cost me everything, even my life. Love stories witnessed many miracles in the past, I am expecting one to happen.

Ruhi we will meet in our next birth.

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